♦ FORGIVENES Blessings

 FORGIVENES Blessings

__________________ ^  ____________________
q(~?~)p  
THE LAUGHING BUDDHA SANGHA

nourishing an iconoclast intelligence

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Zoom your screen for best view  ♦ Maybe re-set at 100%

" The Doors of Perception will open wide for you ! "   
 ~ Aldous Huxley

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Among ALL the heart-themed compassion-practices of 'spirituality' --,FORGIVENESS comes FIRST ! It’s The Really Big Emotional Issue ! A cultivatable ‘capacity’ for Forgiveness needs to be available in order to Love --There's an endless Abundance of ‘Practice Opportunities’ when ‘working’ with Forgiveness.

 

Here’s Numerous Quotes: Quiet Contemplative / Ponderable Into Forgiveness - Recitation Learning Practice -- Take On A Few Read Em; Outloud -- one major ‘Forgiveness Practice-Mantra' at The Laughing Buddha Sangha ~ is "Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past." ~ Aba Gayle

 

Spiritual FORGIVENESS: It’s The Really Big One !

• ARCHIVE: Many Forgiveness-Learning Quotes

   Western and Asian pieces on Deep Forgiveness

• How Do You Do Forgiveness Of Oneself and Others?         

• The Buddha's Teachings on 'Loving-Kindness'

• The Basic Practice: Three Kinds of Forgiveness

   'Self First !  'Self First ! 'Self First !  'Self First !

   Forgiveness Offers Freedom to Forgive  

• The Beginner’s Guide to Forgiveness

• Embracing Our Own ‘Attachments’

• Forgiveness is possible – Forgiving the Unpardonable

  Mindful PRACTICE ENHANCES BALANCE

  Mindful PRACTICE COUNTERS VENGEFULNESS

• It's simple: Attachment ::v:: Letting Go

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“Out beyond 'ideas' of wrong-doing and right-doing –

there is a field.  I'll meet you there.”  ~ Rumi

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WIGGLING -- THE STRUGGLE

OF LIVING THROUGH THINGS

 

When wiggling through a hole -

the 'difficult' world looks different

than when scrubbed clean by the wiggle
and looking back.    ~ Mark Nepo

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Anger as soon as fed is dead -

It’s starving makes it fat.

Of the Seven Deadly Sins,

Anger is possibly the most fun.

To lick your wounds, to smack

your lips over grievances

long past, to roll over

your tongue the prospect

of bitter confrontations

still to come, to savor

to the last toothsome

morsel both the pain

you are given and

the pain you are giving back

–in many ways it is

a feast fit for a king.

The chief drawback is

that what you are

wolfing down is yourself.

The skeleton at the feast is you.

 

~Emily Dickinson

 

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HOW to DO THEM ~

Using FORGIVENESS-LEARNING QUOTES ~

Find a quote that speaks to you or challenges you and learn it.

Or at least, semi-learn it, get intimate with the quote.  Let it in.  Way in.

Then walk around all day mumbling it softly to yourself as it increases

its depth within you. ‘Pondering’ quotes a lot leads to ‘contemplation’

that leads to ‘realization’. This is a form of affirmation-work. Build-it-in.

Keep coming back here to this site’s Forgiveness section – and Forgive.

 

WHAT’S Below is only a semi-organized, yet huge compilation of Western and

Asian pieces on Forgiveness - so you'll want to patiently & lovingly scroll down ...

and make best  s l o w  use of it.  Forgiveness: Don't strive, stalk, search or seek

for 'answers' or resolves ... or worse, ‘demand’ answers – simply come back to

these special ‘words’ from time to time... recall & ponder a lot . . . it'll loosen...

  

Hard to Say Sorry,

Hard to Say Thanks

 

How do you do Forgiveness ?  You just do it.

You really ‘work’ it. And yes, you ‘suffer’ it. Feel it.

You sincerely, deeply ‘process’ it way down within.

You feel it. You ‘live’ it –

IF You forgive 100% - You’re free !

Reason’s don’t count. Then you drop it.

Let it go more each time. You’re free !

Then you truly can Forget about it.

 

Forgive and be free.

Forget that you have forgiven -

and be even freer.    ~ The Buddha

 

"You can no more win a war

than you can win an earthquake."  

   ~ Jeanette Rankin

 

"If we practice and eye for an eye

and a tooth for a tooth,
soon the whole world

will be blind and toothless."  

   ~ Mahatma Gandhi / Martin Luther King
 

"Violence is the language of the inarticulate." 

   ~ Michael Beckwith at Agape

 

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remember . . .

self first

 

Forgiveness for Myself ~

and Then Others 

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There is No 'Failure' in forgiving -

we are all still learning.

The real failure is giving up learning...

 

the arrows of unforgiven resentment and revenge hurts oneself

Holding   resentment   is letting   someone else   punish us.

 

The weak can never forgive.

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

~ Gandhi

 

We harm Ourselves ~

not because we remember the harm we experienced,

but because we forgot to Forgive the harm done. 

 

Being upset with myself for being upset,

I had to forgive myself for being unforgiving.

 

It is more painful to not forgive yourself.

Perhaps the primary "unforgivable" thing

is to not forgive yourself – when ones self

is the only person that can forgive oneself. 

  

Not taking anything 'personally' – 

was something personally very liberating.  

~ all above quotes – Shi'an ( Chine Sensei )  

 

"Man is the measure of all things." ~ Protagoras 

 

Is the Hu’man the measure of all things ?

The deluded hu’man

is the 'false measurer'

of all "Their Own-things".

The enlightened hu’man

is the 'true measurer'

of "All Things".

They alone see Reality.

 

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Revealing how

the intention to Forgive

and the intention to Be Forgiven

acts as a source of ‘alternative’ energy ~  

 

The Basic Buddhist Practice of Forgiveness 

 

There are three kinds of forgiveness, all interrelated. There is self-forgiveness,

which enables us to release our guilt and perfectionism. There is the forgiveness

we extend to others and receive from them, intimates and enemies alike.

And there is the forgiveness of Spirit that assures us of our worth

and strengthens us for this practice.

 

All the spiritual traditions raise up the value of forgiveness, but many people

still find it to be a nearly impossible ideal. Just start somewhere. Look truthfully

at one hurt you have not been able to forgive. Identify any associated feelings

you might have, such as anger, denial, guilt, shame, or embarrassment. Imagine

what it would be like to live without feeling this offense. Then let it go.

 

Other steps may be necessary for healing — a confession of your contribution

to the conflict, making amends, changing behavior, a commitment to the community –

but giving up your claims for, and sometimes against, yourself is where you have to begin.

 

 

PRACTICE ENHANCES BALANCE

PRACTICE COUNTERS VENGEFULNESS

Forgiveness Offers Freedom

 

"If I have hurt or harmed you in any way,

either intentionally or unintentionally,

I ask your forgiveness.

And if you have hurt me in any way,

intentionally or unintentionally,

I forgive you."                                                           

 

The Beginner’s Guide to Forgiveness by Jack Kornfield

 

Forgiveness is possible – but first exploring why forgiveness personally and globally

is essential to our health and happiness, and how you can start using this timeless

practice to transform emotional wounds into healing and understanding – revealing

the Path to Forgiveness and the way out of our pain.

 

Once you understand your own suffering, compassion arises naturally, so you can

extend it to others as well as yourself. How forgiveness can be practiced as a Gift

we give not only to others – but ultimately to ourselves.

In order to be released from deeply held aversion for ourselves and for others,

we must be able to practice forgiveness. It’s all in the Practice!  Forgiveness

has the awesome power to ripen forces of purity such as love, and affirms the

qualitites of patience and compassion. It creates the space for renewal, and

a life free from bondage to the past.

 

When we are held prisoner by our own past actions, or the actions of others,

our present life cannot be fully lived. The 'resentment', the partially experienced

pain, the unwelcome inheritance we carry from the past, all function to close our

hearts and thereby narrow our worlds.

 

The intention of ‘forgiveness’ is not to force anything, or to forget about ourselves

in utter deference to the needs of others. In fact, it is out of the greatest compassion

for ourselves that we can create the conditions for an unobstructed love, which can

dissolve separation and relieve us of the twin burdens of lacerating guilt and

perpetually 'unresolved outrage'.

 

It is much more difficult to forgive than not to forgive. Political leaders seem

to rely on this fact: It may be much easier to unite people with a bond of common

hatred than with shared love. It is not so easy to access that place inside of us

which can forgive, which can love. Remember, to be able to forgive is so deep

a letting-go that it is a type of dying.  We must be able to say, "I am not that

person anymore, and you are not that person anymore."

 

Forgiveness does not mean condoning a harmful action, or denying injustice

or suffering. It should never be confused with being passive toward violation

or abuse. Forgiveness is an inner-relinquishment of guilt or resentment,

both of which are devastating to us in the end. As forgiveness grows within us,

it may take any outward form: We may seek to make amends, demand justice,

resolve to be treated better, or simply leave a situation behind us.

 

The sense of psychological and spiritual well-being that comes from practicing

forgiveness comes directly because this practice takes us to ‘the edge’ of

what we can accept. Being on the edge is challenging, wrenching & transforming.

The ‘process of forgiveness’ demands courage and a continual remembering

of where our deepest happiness lies.  As Goethe said – "Our friends show us

what we can do; our enemies show us what we must do."

 

It is indeed a 'process', which means that as you do these forgiveness reflections,

many conflicted emotions may arise: shame, anger, a sense of betrayal, confusion,

or doubt. Try to allow such states to arise without judging them. Recognize them as

natural occurrences, and then gently return your attention to the forgiveness reflection.

 

The reflection is done in three parts:

asking forgiveness from those you have harmed;

offering forgiveness to those who have harmed you;

and offering forgiveness to yourself.

 

Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and let your breath be natural and uncontrolled.

Begin with the recitation ( silent or not, as you prefer ): "If I have hurt or harmed anyone –

knowingly or unknowingly - I ask their forgiveness."  If different people, scenarios or

images come up, release the burden of guilt and ask for forgiveness: "I ask your forgiveness."

 

After some time, you can offer forgiveness to those who have harmed you.  Don't worry

if there is not a great rush of loving feeling; this is not meant to be an artificial exercise, but

rather a way of honoring the powerful force of intention in our minds. We are paying respects

to our ultimate ability to let go and begin again.  We are asserting the human heart's capacity

to change and grow and love.

 

"If anyone has hurt or harmed me - knowingly or unknowingly - I forgive them."

 

And, as different thoughts or images come to mind, continue the forgiveness recitation,

"I forgive you. . . . "

 

In the end, we turn our attention to forgiveness of ourselves. If there are ways you have

harmed yourself, or not loved yourself, or not lived up to your own expectations, this is the

time to let go of unkindness toward yourself because of what you have done. You can

include any inability to forgive others that you may have discovered on your part in the

reflection that just immediately preceded - that is not a reason to be unkind to yourself.

 

"For all of the ways I have hurt or harmed myself –

  knowingly or unknowingly - I offer myself forgiveness."

 

Continue this practice as a part of your daily meditation, and allow the force of intention

to work in its own way, in its own time.

 

~Jack Kornfield

 

 

 

 

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The “Act of Forgiveness”

is an act of mercy to yourself 

 

Embracing our own ‘attachments’

with an open-hearted forgiveness

 

Breathing into our hearts with patience and friendliness

The “Act of Forgiveness” is an act of mercy to yourself. 

That very special feeling of Metta — 

That purity of universal & unconditional love.

That touching an infinite compassion through the

transformations & blessing of loving-kindness 

 

FORGIVENESS

How faith resides not in adherence to a belief system

but flows from an inner-grounding in reality —

and a cooperative-surrender to Change.

The first step on the journey of faith and forgiveness,

is to recognize that everything is moving onward

to something else, inside us and outside…

a self-image we’ve been holding

doesn’t need to define us forever.

Faith means always seeing our own ‘potential’

for happiness, for vibrant wisdom, for forgiveness

and ‘sustained-compassion’ to sustain us in troubled times.

 

~ Sharon Salzberg

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A pearl goes up for auction

No one has enough –

so the pearl buys itself.

 

~ Rumi

 

Love exists in itself, not relying on owning or being owned.

Like the pearl, love can only buy itself, because love is

not a matter of currency or exchange. No one has enough

to buy it – but everyone has enough to cultivate it. 

Metta ( Loving-kindness ) and forgiveness reunite us

with what it means to be alive and unbound.

 

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Sensitivity :: Balance It

 

Sometimes people are insensitive.

Forgive them anyway.

Sometimes people are oversensitive.

Forgive them anyway.

 

First comes First: Forgiveness for Myself.

 

What alternative is there?

Bear a grudge for the rest of your life,

such that it makes you mad in the mind

whenever you think of an unhappy encounter?

 

No point at all !  Practice the Middle Way.

Just have a balanced sensitivity to others.

Don't be insensitive or oversensitive.

Let go of others' insensitivity or over sensitivity.

'Balanced sensitivity' is balanced Compassion

and Wisdom to oneself and all others.

 

.: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :.

 

“It will always be a challenge for

2 unenlightened beings to be together.

Anger and cravings will always get in the way.

Have compassion.”

 

We need to accept

all unenlightened beings

if we wish to meet all the Buddhas

that they will become.   ~ Stonepeace

 

No being is ‘hopeless’.

All have perfect Buddha-nature,

the ‘potential-ability’ to become perfect.

Let's give all beings a chance, and another,

and another, and another, and another...

... as long as chances are needed.    ~ Toh Yeng Yen

 

 

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What to Do with It ?

Whatever 'It' is –-

 

I follow Four Precepts:

Face It,

Accept It,

Deal with It,

then Let It Go.

 

 

Face it - because it's your consequences.

Accept it - because it's your responsibility.

Deal with it - because you should do something about it.

Let it go - because you have changed, and so had the situation.

 

face it - not easy, takes courage, the pain and the agony,

the suffering and the loss all not easy to face...

 

accept it - not easy either, takes courage. The anguish, the suffering,

the sudden change and the pain not easy to accept... death is not easy

to accept, but must accept nevertheless...

 

deal with it - not easy, takes plenty of courage, confidence and wisdom...

 

then let it go - not easy, takes plenty of courage too, wisdom and insight...

 

four simple lines - but extremely difficult for lay person to fulfill. 

 

Appropriate action, repentance action and remedial action.

hmmm... not easy - still must do. What other alternative? Suffer?

Definitely to Forgive, you will feel much better. But it's painful...

 

~ Chan Master Sheng Yen

 

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He / She: Un-Forgiving Apologies

 

Because He was magnanimous,

he did not need an apology from her.

But since he is magnanimous,

he could readily accept an apology.

 

Because She was petty,

she did not apologize to him.

But since she is petty,

she should readily give an apology.

 

He begged for her forgiveness repeatedly.

But she couldn't forgive him at all.

Instead, she simply became close to someone else.  

 

Forgiveness is easy but painful to forget.

Magnanimous comes at a price and needs to be trained.

 

Petty is to let the other know it bothers her –

and apology may not be enough to make

the other change - because it takes time.

 

Hard as it might be to forgive and let go,

forgiveness is the only sensible thing to do –

after doing whatever necessary to right the situation.

Holding resentment is letting someone else punish us. 

 

~  Shi'an

 

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When one can forgive oneself,

you can forgive everyone else

and everyone can forgive you.

One is the world, the world is One.

 

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What ? : No Problem

 

What is there to forgive?

What is there to forget?

When you and I are indistinguishable

like one segment of space to the next,

Who steals and who gets stolen?

 

No amount of words can comfort you

if you do not make the first step yourself.

Take this opportunity to further enhance

your forgiving-heart.

Forgive his foolishness.

Forgive her heartlessness,

Forgive yourself too.

Thank him for showing you how big your heart is.

Thank her for showing you how great your love is.

Thank yourself for trying your very best.                    

~ Zy'rica

 

 

Only after you have tried your best to seek forgiveness

from the one you are sorry to, can you really forgive yourself.

Otherwise, you are just letting yourself off the hook too easily.

 

Only after you have done your best to thank appropriately

the one you are grateful to, are you really appreciative.

Otherwise, you are just taking kindness too much for granted. 

~ Shi'an

 

 

Love Helps Me Help You Let It Go

 

True Love encompasses True Forgiveness

of the smallest hurt to the greatest betrayal.

It always forgives because it always cares,

and because bearing resentment – 

the opposite of Love,

hurts both parties instead.

Most of us are in the ‘process’

of learning to love and forgive perfectly.

Few of us can love and forgive anyone instantly.

We’re not yet masters of forgiveness. Work on it.

It is natural to fluctuate between love and hate at times.

Finding it hard to forgive does not always mean

one is unwilling to forgive.

If you are struggling, chances are

that you seriously want to forgive.

That is already ‘love in action’ to some extent.

What needs to be done is

to further extend the love and forgiveness.

~ Shi'an

 

 

Task: Forgiving

the Unpardonable

( personally, a really a big one ) 

 

Forgive Others –

Forgive those whom you feel are unpardonable.

Forgive still Others –

Forgive them – forgive them for ’forgiving others’ –

( those whom you feel are unpardonable.)

Forgive yourself –

for having ‘done’ that what you feel to be unpardonable.

Forgive still yourself – for ‘Forgiving yourself’ –

for ‘forgiving yourself’ for having done that

( what you still feel to be unpardonable.)

What is truly unpardonable is not to truly pardon.

 

Do It Fully. Otherwise, you’ll never get out of the loop.  

~ Shi'an

 

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Forgive and ~

You’re Off the Hook

 

When you forgive someone,

the first person you let off the hook

is not that person, but yourself.

 

To bear a grudge

is as surely punishing of oneself,

and .. it might not punish the other at all.  

Maybe we can apply “forget” into it as well?

 

Actually, there is no ‘need to forget’ about an unhappy experience.

Just let go of the pain that comes from not forgiving.

In this sense, to still feel pain means the forgiveness is still incomplete. 

~ Shi'an

 

 

Attachment ::v:: Letting Go

 

“Just let it go!” He yelled to his heartbroken friend.

Still 'attached' to not wanting her to be attached –

he did not realize he was himself still attached.

“Just let go of wanting her to let go!” - another friend yelled.  

 

It's so easy to say “just let go”. . .

and letting go of “just let go” is no easy task.

But try nevertheless.

Good Luck and May the Triple Gems Bless

those who “let go” the pain, “let go” the suffering,

“let go” the agony, “let go” the loss, “let go” the anguish,

“let go” the disappointment, “let go” the resentment,

and “let go” the “letting go...”

 

And, “letting go” is not about telling people that they are attached.

But at that very instant when one realizes or sees it as attachment

~ be it others or oneself – one goes to the mantra immediately –

– “Just let it go!” – “let it go!” – “let it go!” – “let it go!” !” – “let it go!”

 

It's never easy to ‘just let it go’...

Nothing is really easy...

It's painful and full of anguish.

But the more you cling to it,

the more pain and the more suffering –

and ‘letting go’ is the only way to preserve our sanity,

and it also helps to reinforce and strengthen our mind.

Just learn to ‘let it go’ and life will be a breeze –

but not without much love, some hope and lots of compassion.

Blessings & Love to all who let go...  

 

Anything and everything is

a Dharma-door to Enlightenment !

You can enter from anywhere anytime – alas,

but it seems you do still prefer a ‘proper’ door?

~ Shi'an

 

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True Love encompasses True Forgiveness - of the smallest hurt to the greatest betrayal.

True Love, it always forgives because it always cares, and because bearing resentment

( the opposite of love ) hurts both parties instead. Most of us are in the process of just

‘learning’ to love and forgive perfectly - few of us can love and forgive anyone instantly.

Not yet Masters of Forgiveness, it is natural to fluctuate between love and hate at times.

Finding it hard to forgive does not always means one is unwilling to forgive. If you are

struggling, chances are that you seriously want to forgive - that is already love in action

to some extent. What needs to be done is to further extend the love and forgiveness.

 

No need to be angry at yourself for being repeatedly angry - for this only feeds the

demon of anger repeatedly. Just be mindful of anger when it arises and let it go

as instantly as you would drop painful hot coals. One day, you will find the need

to forgive no longer there, that you have truly let go of the pain.

 

Any pain we have for having been hurt in the past is actually a “phantom pain” ~

illusory mental anguish which is only as painful as your unmindful clinging and

prolonging of it. Such pain is sustained by a conflicting mix of attachment ( to

having been hurt ) and aversion ( to the hurt ). The past has already passed.

If we do not let the unhappy past go, it will not let us go - it will only make our

present moment always unhappy. There is a simple but wonderful teaching

from the Buddha on forgiveness - “You too shall pass away. Knowing this,

how can you quarrel ( have conflict with others, or within oneself )?”

Life is too short to live in ‘self-sustained phantom pain’.

 

One of the most important things to know in life is that no one withholds

any happiness from us - not even our most loved ones. Our happiness

is our charge. While we often place our happiness in the charge of others,

it is us who voluntarily do that - and we can take this responsibility back

to own it. Be good to yourself because nobody else has the power to

make you truly happy. Only when we mindfully see and take up this

personal responsibility, can we truly love - both ourselves and others.     

~ Shi'an

 

 

Enmity :: The Real Enemy

Victory – is to Rebel against the Self

 

en·mi·ty [ en'meh'tee ]   noun - state of mind

 

[ Latin: inimicus ( see 'enemy' )  ]

 

Hostility: the extreme ill will or hatred that exists between enemies

"trying to resolve age-old enmities" :: synonyms: hostility, hate,

antagonism, hatred, ill-will, animosity, antipathy, rancor

antonym: goodwill

 

What we need is to eradicate enmity with Love.

Not to eradicate enemies with Hatred. 

~ Stonepeace

 

Am I not destroying my enemies

when I make them my friends?    

~ Abraham Lincoln

 

To conquer Oneself is a greater victory

than to conquer thousands in a battle.  

~ The Buddha

 

If you want to be an Ultimate Rebel –

You have to rebel against yourself, ultimately.

 

Knowing moral shamefulness,

I unashamedly repent.           

~ Zyrius

 

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Shan: I would like to apologize for all the bad things

          I had said or done to you in the past.

 

Chan: Are you apologizing for the Past You or the Present You?

 

Shan: What you mean?

 

Chan: The ‘past you’ that did me wrong does not exist anymore,

          and the ‘present you’ has not done me any wrong so far.

          It's great that you feel remorse about past mistakes. It's the first step.

          However for forgiveness to be complete - you have to forgive your past too.

          I forgive the past because I do not ‘cling’ to it anymore. Now it's up to you

          to let it go too!  Just make the ‘resolution’ not to repeat the mistake to anyone else!

 

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"Forgiveness has such power because it is characterized by the inner-quality of letting go or relinquishing.

Being able to let go, to give up, to renounce, to give forgiveness generously — these capacities spring from

the same source within us. When we practice generosity, we open to all of these liberating qualities at the

same time simultaneously. They carry us to a profound ‘knowing’ of freedom, and they also are

the loving expression of that same state of freedom." 

 

~ Sharon Salzberg

 

 

A Small Note about Being Blocked

 

You will always know when you are blocked by people in your Path.

But unless you are Mindful enough – or if someone lets you know,

~ you will never know when you block others behind you.

 

As readily as you forgive yourself

for unknowingly blocking others,

so too should you forgive others

for blocking you.

 

When overcoming obstacles

on the Path to Buddha-hood,

remember that countless Buddhas

have "been there, done that",

and they say to us,

"What they could do,

you can too."

~ Shi'an

 

 

" If there is any kindness I can show

  or any good thing I can do for a fellow being –

  Let me do it now - and not deter or neglect it –

  as I may not pass this way again."   ~ William Penn                                    

 

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“There is no future without forgiveness”

  ~ Bishop Desmond Tutu

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Anger as soon as fed is dead -

It’s starving makes it fat.

Of the Seven Deadly Sins,

Anger is possibly the most fun.

To lick your wounds, to smack

your lips over grievances

long past, to roll over

your tongue the prospect

of bitter confrontations

still to come, to savor

to the last toothsome

morsel both the pain

you are given and

the pain you are giving back

–in many ways it is

a feast fit for a king.

The chief drawback is

that what you are

wolfing down is yourself.

The skeleton at the feast is you.

 

~Emily Dickinson